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Review  WarioWare Touched!
- By Lander Clinton
[Editor In Chief]
Hmm, the second game in three months- thanks, Nintendo! WarioWare Touched! arrives just in time to remind us of everyone's favorite third pillar, the DS. It just occured to me that Nintendo should have advertised their three systems as the Triforce, and not as three pillars. Oh well. I guess "Triforce" is already being used for their arcade division, which I guess would be the fourth pillar. One wonders what Nintendo is building with all these pillars- a death ray?
The above rambling illustrates the gameplay of WarioWare. You've been warned...
Gameplay:
Everyone who's relevant to the universe knows how WarioWare works, you get a succession of 1-5-second games where you must complete a random task given to you at the start of the game. If you screw up four times you're done, otherwise, it just keeps going and keeps getting faster as well.
WarioWare Touched! (the exclamation point is part of the title!) (that one was added by me) boasts that it has 180 microgames. Each game also has several slight variations on it, like you might have to do two things instead of one in the time allowed.
All of these games make use of the DS's unique abilities. Most are touch-screen only. Many use both screens, and some use the microphone. You might have to chisel a statue by tapping the screen, connect wires from the top screen to a battery on the bottom, or blow a bubble by blowing on the microphone. Don't blow too hard or it will pop! (that exclamation was also added by me).
There are also some cool retro NES games in the bunch, like Punch-Out! (that exclamation is part of the title), Super Mario Bros., Zeldas 1 and 2, Balloon Fight, and others. No, they're not the full games, but rather microgames based on the classic adventures. Tap on ? blocks (that question mark is part of the game) to collect coins, pop some enemy balloons, or knock out a boxer to continue. Does anyone else think they should combine The Apprentice with The Contender? Or at least reverse the contestants on each, so punch-drunk boxers have to come up with a marketing strategy and Harvard grads have to duke it out? The winner gets to fight Trump's hair.
Aesthetics:
The graphics in WarioWare Touched! are the kind that appeal to fans of Japanese pop-culture, or "J-pop." (those quotes were added by me)(as were all the parentheses in the review). They're mostly quite silly, and each microgame has a totally different art style from all the others, so I'm not going to go into that. Expect randomness.
Some games display the DS's 3D capabilities while most are 2D. If you know what WarioWare is, you won't be disappointed.
Sound:
The sounds in the game range just as much as the graphics do. Except for the Nintendo boards, which have game-appropriate music, each character's set of games has a running theme over all the microgames so you don't have to keep switching tunes every few seconds.
Most of it sounds like videogame music. I know what I just wrote must sound stupid, since it IS videogame music, but you know what I mean. Upbeat, never-ending songs with a beat, and in this case, they keep getting faster as your time limit for completing tasks goes down.
One character is a witch and her music is an obvious homage to the Haunted Mansion music at Disney World, complete with ghoulish singers who want to invite you to stay with them- mwa ha ha! (that exclamation point was absolutely necessary and was added by social doctrine).
Control:
All the ways you control the DS are put to use here, except for the buttons, that is.
A- nothing
B- nothing
X- nothing
Y- nothing
L- nothing
R- nothing
Left- nothing
Right- nothing
Down- nothing
Up/Start- pause and unpause
Touch screen- almost everything
Microphone- everything else
Multiplayer:
No multiplayer, but loads of extras. Nintendo decided to throw in a bunch of ideas that weren't really games, mostly as a way to show off the system to developers scratching their heads to come up with ideas (the game includes scratching microgames).
You can play table tennis, or blow on windchimes, or play the piano, or talk to a parrot and have it repeat you.
There are a lot more non-games that were included, such as a paint program that lets you color in Waro's face. Hint- try making the whole screen black and then using one color to touch randomly on the screen for a cool inverse effect. I like to use light blue.
OVERALL:
This review meant nothing- It's a WarioWare game. You already know if you like it or not. It's basically the same idea as Tetris, since it's easy to learn and you can always play to beat your top score.
Another sequel, WarioWare Twisted!! (the first exclamation was part of the title, the second was added by me) comes out in a few weeks for the GBA. It has a motion sensor that knows when you're twisting the system or not. One wonders why they didn't include that as a standard DS function. Maybe it wouldn't fit with their death ray plans...
The Lowdown on  WarioWare Touched!
| Aesthetics: Average |
Control: Awesome |
| Gameplay: Very Good |
Multiplayer: |
| Sound: Average |
Innovation: 5/6 |
| Lasting Appeal: 5/6 |
Rating Explanation |
Overall: Above Average!
"A Quality Game"
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This game is:
Above Average
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ADDITIONAL
MEDIA: |
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None Yet
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