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News 
When Tylenol isn't strong enough, try...Nintendo?
- Posted By Michael
Loewer, 07.13.2001
Amazingly, that headline is not a joke. A recent Haverford College study actually concluded that playing video games can in fact function as a pain reliever. However, you do have to be male--sorry girls.
Of course, that's no problem for a real man like myself. Can you believe I'm single? Please, ladies, there's enough of me to go around...
Uh, yeah.
Anyway, here's a transcript of the article, straight from the July/August 2001 issue of Men's Health:
NINTENDO CONQUERS PAIN
Competitive juices can wash away the hurt
Ever notice that when you and a buddy are zoned out playing Madden 2001 and your wife reminds you it's her birthday by whapping you upside the head...it doesn't hurt? Here's why. Athletic competition dulls us to pain--it's called stress-induced analgesia. A study at Haverford College in Pennsylvania found that this effect extends to the cyber realm. Researchers tested pain tolerance of men and women after they participated in a track meet and after they played video games. Both sexes had decreased pain sensitivity after the track meet, but only the men got a pain-killing buzz from video games.
Two main points:
1.) True, other than the headline, the article doesn't actually mention Nintendo as being the sole cause of pain relief, just video games in general. However, haven't you noticed that whenever the media brings up gaming, the system almost always mentioned is the PSX or PS2? It's downright blasphemous, considering not only Nintendo's historical signficance (and recent GBA sales) but also the relatively high-level of "suckage" the PS2 is causing Sony right now. Therefore, I thank Men's Health for recognizing the obvious Nintendo dominance.
2.) The fact that only men received pain relief from playing video games simply means that men are real gamers, and women aren't. All is not lost however, when one considers that women are still powerhouses in the fields of cooking, cleaning, and TV-remote fetching.
*NOTE*: Above statements about women should be taken as funny and a JOKE, although I'm sure our tiny female demographic isn't laughing. However, be assured that I'm quite fond of women, and believe that they deserve nothing but our total and absolute respect in all aspects of life. Now then, ladies, who wants some lovin'?
Did this turn out to be a huge and damned hilarious news article or what?
Senior Editor Michael Loewer, signing off.
Shameless plug: The Necessity
Source: Men's Health
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