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Editorials   Viva Lost Wages
- By Lander Clinton

Disclaimer: We at NGenres.com do not support or condone prostitution in any country or U.S. state where it is illegal.

WHORES! WHORES! WHORES! Ahh, there's nothing like your first trip to Las Vegas- the lights, the sounds, the ads for "discreet masseuse" strewn all over the ground. Although I was there for a family occasion, I still took notice of the videogame scene in America's Sin City. By the way, that just gave me a great idea for a parody on the Sim City franchise.

The first things you see when getting into the Las Vegas airport are electronic games. Of course, these are slot machines. Today's slot machines are very sophisticated though. Most worth playing have music beyond Game Boy-like blips, some have touch screens with extra mini games if you pump in more quarters, and a few even have a beam that when you pass your hand through it, it spins the wheels for you. However, don't be looking for a lot of gaming depth- the object is to get your money before you realize how much you've lost. A 60-hour Final Fantasy slot machine just wouldn't be feasible.

Never once in a Las Vegas gift store did I see a videogame magazine. The closest were general computer magazines, but it was rare to find a regular newspaper in Vegas at all since the crosswalk vending machines sold porn and ads for hookers. I, of course, perused every single one of them as research for this article and didn't find a single ad for BMX XXX, but there were quite a number of disturbing ads for ladies who'll dress like your favorite Pokemon... pika! pika!

One day I went to the Ceasers hotel which included a huge FAO Schwartz toy store. It had a videogame section, but the lack of Nintendo love was just pitiful. Once I tore my eyes off the big AT-AT Walkers from Star Wars that greeted me off the escalator, I noticed an Xbox display stand ready for anyone who wanted to play it. Then I walked over to the GBA area and behind a column, facing away from general customers, was a GameCube demo turned off. The worst part was the cardboard display that told me it still featured Luigi's Mansion and Star Wars: Rogue Leader. Not that these are bad games at all, they're just from 2001.

It's disappointing to see TWO life-size Darth Vaders (one made from legos), a whole Cantina Band set-up, plenty of Star Wars ships, a walk-in Barbie's Castle, an Oscar the Grouch that pops up and talks to you, a caged Velociraptor, and a two-story Trojan horse, but not a single waist-high plastic Mario that are common enough in my local malls.

Speaking of malls, most of the Vegas shopping areas are filled with non-chain stores that sell really expensive designer clothing and jewelery and other stuff I can live without (I like to be naked, dammit!). I didn't see a single videogame store in my entire four days and then two extra days I was there. (At least snow canceled my flight while I was still in sunny Las Vegas unlike the people trying to leave Philly.)

All in all I made $6.75 at the slots and it was a good vacation, but I'm glad to be back to reality where people like videogames.