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Editorials 
A Farewell to RareWare
- By Eric
Tajchman
So the big news (or not so big news as it seems) is that Rare and Nintendo have parted company. A strong bond between two great developers has [once more] been broken.
So how should fans take the news. Is it a good thing? Is it bad? Does it signal further wicked omens to come (the Carolina Panthers are 2-0)? I've come to shed light on your darkest fears, and put to rest any doubts you may have.
Good: Nintendo cuts loose a veritable dry-well developer, gaining money and freeing up assets in the process.
Bad: Nintendo loses a big-name developer to its biggest console competitor, Microsoft.
Good: Nintendo retains many of Rare's licenses.
Bad: Rare makes off with some fine developers and heads straight to Microsoft.
Good: Nintendo is now about 350 million pounds richer.
Bad: Nintendo president Satura Iwata gains 5 pounds despite his SlimFast program.
Good: GameCube owners could still see Donkey Kong games on the 'Cube.
Bad: GameCube owners could still see Donkey Kong Coconut Crackers on the 'Cube.
Good: Rare will still develop Game Boy Advance games.
Bad: Rare will probably develop GBA teaser titles as a promotion for its larger X-Box titles.
NOTE: The following Good/Bad list is unconfirmed and may not be 100% accurate.
Good: Nintendo forms new company called Not-So-RareWare and games come out on time for a change.
Bad: Bill Gates buys Nintendo
Good: The "Bill Gates" robot breaks down, Microsoft disburses its acquired 3rd parties, and Microsoft gives everyone in the world 5 bucks.
Bad: Microsoft going bankrupt promotes a global economic downturn, causing nations to tax everyone an extra 5 dollars.
Good: New gender is discovered through evolutionary studies.
Bad: Pokemon breeding gets even creepier.
Bad: The United Nations passes a resolution restricting international commerce.
Good: Microsoft buys Rare only to never be able to put Rare games on the X-Box!
Bad Americans can't own or buy a GameCube (legally, that is) . . .
Really Bad: World economy crashes and civilization as we know it implodes upon itself, leaving only one man behind to rule it . . .
. . . TV's Alan Thicke.
Good: Despite Rare, a British company, being bought by Microsoft, an American company, British people all over the world are still British.
Bad: There are still British people.
Good: Japanese work ethics and efficiency come to the United States.
Bad: EA, Microsoft, Midway, and Sega will stop releasing annual updates to their respective sports games and release weekly updates instead.
Good: Microsoft decides to cancel production of the X-Box and pulls out of the console market suddenly.
Bad: All X-Boxes transform into miniature walking fission bombs (with Nvidia GeForce3 cards) and Bill Gates holds the world hostage.
Good: Like everything Microsoft creates, the X-Boxes/Mobile Fission Bombs suddenly go haywire, flash the infamous "Blue Screen of Death" and lock up.
Bad: However, this time "Blue Screen of Death" is a literal name and the bombs detonate anyway.
So there you have it. I hope that this little guide has relieved some of your anxieties, lifted your head above the clouds of confusion, and made you giddy with laughter (or stomach cramps). All in all, it's your opinion on Rare's departure that counts. While some might be sad to see them go (especially to Microsoft), others might be happy about their decision to leave. Still others are excited to see what Rare can come up with now on the X-Box. So what's the proper way to feel about this situation, you ask? Feel whatever you want to feel. There's no right or wrong way to feel about this. Be excited, be disappointed, be sad, by angry, be hungry, be whatever, just be yourself.
On behalf of NGenres, I wish RareWare the best of luck with their future endeavors with Microsoft (though, as a Nintendo fan, not too much luck). It should be interesting to see what they come up with now that they're separated from the proverbial umbilical cord.
Agree with what I'm saying? Disagree? Let us know your thoughts on this issue in our mail bag. The views of Eric Tajchman are not necessarily the views of NGenres.com or its affiliates.
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