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Editorials   Major ED Problem!
- By Lander Clinton

No, ED is not Erectile Dysfunction, you loyal Nintendorks readers, I've been stuck in Eternal Darkness for days. I think my copy is messed up.

For those of you who haven't bought it yet, feel free to ruin it for yourself by continuing to read, you obviously don't deserve to be surprised if you haven't bought the GameCube's best game yet.

I chose the blue path and am in 1983 with Edwin Lindsey. I have full health, sanity and magic, and have completed everything in the temple. I got the movie with Mantorok's statue sending out a purple shockwave that killed two winged beasts and sent Augustus fleeing. Then the statue opens a door behind Mantorok which you're obviously supposed to go to.

In my version the door is still closed and no magic I've officially learned or created will open it. After a day at that door I looked up some FAQs and walkthroughs to see what I was missing, and no one mentioned doing anything to get it open after the movie.

A fellow staffer, let's call him E. Tajchman... no, that's too obvious- Eric T, said he just examined the statue in front of Mantorok, but in my version it doesn't do anything.

Perhaps Silicon Knights had some of the discs be buggy on purpose, just to make the player go insane. When the movie "Man on the Moon" came out, one out of every 200 copies of the soundtrack would set off the store alarm after being bought just to play a joke on people.

Just to make sure my copy was okay, I sent a letter to Nintendo (who are always really cool about replying to emails quickly) and got a response basically telling me to buy the strategy guide. "This an awesome game," said the Nintendo employee who responded to me, Andi Anderson. Now really, that has to be a fake name, but maybe she could join the alliteration-filled cast of Smallville, what with Clark Kent, Lana Lang, Lex Luthor, Lionel Luthor, and Lois Lane (well, Lois Lane is Later in Life- I think the L button is breaking on my keyboard).

Anyway, for all you kids out there in NGenresland, I would really appreciate some suggestions if you've made it past this part of Eternal Darkness and remember doing something to get the door open. Perhaps there are some "Open" and "Sesame" runes...

Thanks,
lclinton@ngenres.com